What Makes a Good Life?
Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness
What keeps us happy and healthy as we go through life? Robert Waldinger shares three important lessons from the 75-year Harvard Study of Adult Development—one of the world's longest studies on happiness.
About the Study
The Harvard Study of Adult Development is one of the world's longest studies of adult life. Starting in 1938, researchers tracked the lives of 724 men—following them from their teenage years into old age to discover what truly keeps people happy and healthy.
The study followed two groups: Harvard College sophomores and boys from Boston's poorest neighborhoods. For over 75 years, researchers asked about their work, home lives, and health—without knowing how their life stories would turn out.
The answer might surprise you: It's not fame, money, or high achievement. The study revealed that good relationships keep us happier and healthier throughout our lives.
Three Key Lessons
After 75 years of research, three major lessons about relationships emerged:
- Social connections are really good for us, and loneliness kills. People who are more socially connected to family, friends, and community are happier, physically healthier, and live longer than people who are less well connected.
- It's not just the number of friends you have—it's the quality of your close relationships that matters. Living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health. High-conflict marriages, for example, are very bad for our health—perhaps worse than getting divorced.
- Good relationships don't just protect our bodies; they protect our brains. Being in a securely attached relationship to another person in your 80s is protective. People in relationships where they really feel they can count on the other person have sharper memories for longer.
What You Can Do Today
The good news is that this isn't complicated. Dr. Waldinger offers practical wisdom that's been proven by 75 years of research:
- Replace screen time with people time—turn off your TV and go for a walk with someone
- Liven up a stale relationship by doing something new together—take a long walk or go out on a date night
- Reach out to that family member you haven't spoken to in years—those grudges are incredibly common and they take a terrible toll on the people who hold them
- Invest in your relationships the same way you invest in your career and health
- Remember: The good life is built with good relationships
